Excercise in Surrealism 
 1994

I

Once,
     I had a roll of scotch tape,
And I taped my face up like Pee Wee Herman,
     Then,
I took it off.

When,
     I took the scotch tape off,
That I had put on my face like Pee Wee Herman,
     It,
really hurt a lot.

One,
     Sometimes wonders why a man
Like I would tape up my face like Pee Wee Herman,
     And,
Then take it off.


3

Today I saw two Subarus in Dave's driveway,
	And I thought to myself,
		Hey, two subarus in one driveway.
In the greater significance of the cosmos
this must mean something.
		Then I saw a commercial for Big Frank.
			His eyes light up.

5

    Somebody asked me who Big Frank is,
  	I said that he was a toy monster.
I saw a commercial for him after I saw
      	two subarus in the same driveway.
			His eyes light up.	   



#37i

Clomid is the human egg inducer producer.
Urine from pregnant female frogs can cause
Greater egg production in others.
What does this have to do with price 
Of eggs in Japan?  No, I do not want
Green eggs and ham, Sam I am.  Not 
The reason for disorder, the reason for
All that is not ordered by catalog.
Analog of sine waves, District of Columbia saves
Squat-n-heffer's big money in the long run.
That's almost as funny as Jerry Lewis as the Errand Boy.
Doughnuts, violent chimps, and an unwary cop
Add up to a screenplay about a pork-barrel jungle
Set in Equador.  Men in needle-thorn hats, crowns made
Of vinegar, foul and bitter tasting as the 
Sweat on a camels back.  Just like the other day
When I asked God who his favorite movie-star was,
I expected Burns but got some guy from Lexington, Virginia.
I think the ouji board was busted at the time.  This
Indicates that the anti-thesis to dish soap is
Lime green taffy, in some way I suppose 
It is not unlike a radio tuned to pulsar transmissions
In the sub-ether, really a 
Forensic limbido.



11

Garfunkel's Afro,
	the spiritual aphrodisiac-
grooves slithy tothes.
Proves opposums have butts,
     Just like hamsters.


7

  The window in my car is cracked,
Its broken tendrils like putty in a matrix
	of fractured glass.
This morning I ran into a deer,
     and now the rest of my car is cracked too.


51i

Synchronus melon kindling blankverse to the 
Condensation of my amorphus crystal ball-
Spiraling down the corduroy tongue of a
Sociopath.  It's green like kelp.  Quivering
Plaid thoughts kept in crystaline organization
Reminds one of Zwingalian theocracy - valiant
Effort, but a failure nonetheless.  However
The ecclesiastical properties of clown vomit might
Intimate at the otherwise innocent nature of 
Pickled salmon.  I myself am not so easily impressed,
Give me a run for my clams.
Bisodium phosphate.  Yum.
This time I asked God what he liked for breakfast
Every morning, who would of thought that the man likes 
Cap'n Crunch over S'mores.










"WHY ARE WE YELLING?"
I asked my friend, who yelled back,
"BECAUSE WE'RE TALKING VERY LOUD!"

by josh buermann © 1994