--======================================================================-- -- Bard Song : Song of the Luddites --======================================================================-- Upon completion this song will create a powerful, immobilizing net around the target, preventing it from attacking effectively, and puts into its hands a stocking-frame, driving your party into corresponding fits of insanity until the machine or the target is destroyed, whichever comes first. The chant must be joined by many bards to be effective. Syntax: perform song of the luddites for Duration: 20 Type: a cappella, and some knitting. Lyrics: Song for the Luddits [1816] [Lord Byron] You do your best Lord Byron impressions. You join your fellow stockingers and begin weaving part of a net. As the liberty lads o'er the sea Bought their freedom, and cheaply, with blood, So we, boys, we Will die fighting, or live free, And down with all kings but King Ludd! You weave furiously as hoisery prices plummett. When the web that we weave is complete, And the shuttle exchanged for the sword, We will fling the winding sheet O'er the despot at our feet, And dye it deep in the gore he has poured. You stitch your net to the other weavers' to create a strong web. Though black as his heart its hue, Since his veins are corrupted to mud, Yet this is the dew Which the tree shall renew Of Liberty, planted by Ludd! With a mighty throw you ensare $M$ in your net, immobilizing $m$ against your insurrection! $M$ is holding a stocking-frame! You're driven into a fit of insane rage as you try to destroy it! Defensive spell, glvl 60, drains sps for defense We could use another 50+ defensive spell, but due to concerns for the pro-drug inuendos involved with an idea I had for "Rastafari's Mystic Haze" I'll refrain from suggesting it, as I can't figure out whether it'd be better as a personal or targetted spell. There's also a song idea at the end. --======================================================================-- -- Bard Spell : Starshield --======================================================================-- This spell sheathes your body in a dark magical screen that blocks electromagnetic attacks, dramatically increasing defenses against electricity and radiation, and to a lesser extent energy and fire. Syntax: cast starshield Spell Level : 50+ SP Cost: 50 --======================================================================-- -- Bard Spell : Temporal Phase Shift --======================================================================-- This spell will temporarily quicken your passage of time, making it appear as though time around you has slowed. This variation of the haste spell increases the effectiveness of your dodge abilities while it is in effect and makes your Bard Guild Instrument solos appear blazingly fast to your audience. Syntax: cast temporal phase shift Spell Level : 50+ SP Cost: 50 --======================================================================-- -- Bard Spell : Anti-Magic Warding --======================================================================-- This spells creates a ward around players in the room that absorbs spell damage to all those standing within it. Syntax: cast antimagic ward Spell Level : 50+ SP Cost: 80 --======================================================================-- -- Bard Spell : Entropy Field --======================================================================-- This spell creates a field around you that will disintegrate matter that passes through the field, causing damage to any enemy that attacks with melee. While the field is in effect you will lose your own melee attacks, as nobody is immune to the effects of the field. Maintaining the field drains sps, but will stand so long as it can be maintained, or is dispelled. Syntax: cast entropy field cast entropy field at off Spell Level : 60+ SP Cost: 80 --======================================================================-- -- Bard Spell : Sonic Form --======================================================================-- With this spell you convert your entire form into pure musical energy, making you immune to damage for the round that it is in effect and allowing you to blast through an opponent, pulverizing internal organs and causing massive damage. Because of the difficulty of the transmutation the spell will cause damage equal to a proportion of your max health when you reconstitute. This spell has a tendency to cause bowel disruptions in the target, and may leave behind a bit of a mess. Syntax: cast sonic form on Spell Level : 72 SP Cost: 180 --======================================================================-- -- Bard Song : Small Axe --======================================================================-- After performing this song the bards' weapons will become a force for big trees to reckon with. The effect lasts long after the performance is complete. This song is a duet, however the hell those work. The ()s contain the band's call-and-response parts. Syntax: perform small axe Duration: 70 Type: Both Lyrics: Small Axe [1971] [Lee Perry] You do your best Bob Marley and The Wailers impression. Why boasteth thyself Oh, evil men Playing smart And not being clever? I said, you're working iniquity To achieve vanity (if a-so a-so) But the goodness of Jah, Jah I-dureth for-I-ver So if you are the big tree We are the small axe Ready to cut you down (well sharp!) To cut you down These are the words Of my master, keep on tellin' me No weak heart Shall prosper And whosoever diggeth a pit Shall fall in it (fall in it!) And whosoever diggeth a pit Shall fall in it (... fall in it!) If you are the big tree, let me tell you that We are the small axe, sharp and ready Ready to cut you down (well sharp!) To cut you down (To cut you down) (To cut you down) These are the words Of my master, tellin' me that No weak heart Shall prosper And whosoever diggeth a pit Shall fall in it, uh, bury in it And whosoever diggeth a pit Shall bury in it, uh (... bury in it!) If you are the big, big tree We are the small axe Ready to cut you down (well sharp!) To cut you down If you are the big, big tree, let me tell you that We are the small axe Ready to cut you down (well sharp!) To cut you down Sharpened ... Emotes: The irresistable vacillations of your song drive X's soul from its body The adamant tone of your song mollifies the argillaceous subsistency of X. Your song inspires an expression on X's face that resembles joy in the same sense that a frog enjoys a rectum full of firecrackers. Reminiscent of a Stainless Steel 1950s Waring Industrial Blender your song pulsates X's innards into a whipped goo. Your song undulates X's innards into an ammalagamate of flaccid brown crap, leaving a crater where its asshole once was. X is squashed flatter than a week old fart by the pure, awesome beauty of your song. A mere note from your staggeringly awesome solo rips the very soul from X and leaves nothing behind but a stoned, fuck-hungry groupy in its wake. Need a song that makes the mob sing with you, preventing it from casting spells: Monster Mash. I think it would make a great deal of sense for us to have a room-peace power of some kind, and I suggest the following song which would be acapella. Performing the song would provide additional defenses (I think it would be great if it summoned some angels that automatically defended the performer, but it could also manifest as an additional dodge emote such as "An angelic force guides the blow away from you, protecting you from the worst of the damage."). On completion of the song all combat in the room ceases. --======================================================================-- -- Bard Song : Angels Watching Over Me --======================================================================-- You stretch your vocal chords and beging softly singing a lullaby. All night, all day, angels watching over me, my Lord. All night, all day, angels watching over me. Sun is a-setting in the West Angels watching over me, my Lord. Sleep my children, take your rest Angels watching over me. All night, all day, angels watching over me, my Lord. All night, all day, angels watching over me. type: Acapella --======================================================================-- -- Bard Song : Too-ra Loo-ra-li --======================================================================-- You stretch your vocal chords and do your best Bing Crosby imitation. Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li, Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Hush now, don't you cry! Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li, Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, That's an Irish lullaby. Over in Killarney, Many years ago, Mi mither sang a song to me In tones so sweet and low. Just a simple little ditty, In her good ould Irish way, And I'd give the world if she could sing That song to me this day. Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li, Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Hush, now don't you cry! Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li, Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Hush now, peace be with thee! --======================================================================-- -- Bard Song : Endless Sleep --======================================================================-- You crack your knuckles and do your best Leo Kottke impression. Endless Sleep When you're walking in the street Spoiling for a fight Hoping for a miracle And there's no miracle in sight Registering zero Cause you're bombed out on the booze Feel like some bad story In yesterday's news It makes you want to lay face down On the grass so brown Where the sun beats down On the baking ground To find sweet release In endless sleep Endless sleep When you're hanging by a thread, Clutching at a straw Ain't got nothin' left And the world keeps shouting more [?] You haven't got an prayer Cause you're all bust up inside Nobody you can turn to this time, No place you can hide It makes you want to lay face down On the grass so brown Where the sun beats down On the baking ground To find sweet release In endless sleep Endless sleep Endless sleep --======================================================================-- -- Bard Song : If I Had A Hammer --======================================================================-- Completing this song will create a power artifact in the performer's inventory: The Hammer of Justice. Duration: 35 Type: This would presumably be a gallant-only song. The Hammer of Justice rings out danger on the cranium of your foe! If I had a hammer, I'd hammer in the morning I'd hammer in the evening, All over this land. I'd hammer out danger, I'd hammer out a warning, I'd hammer out love between my brothers and my sisters, All over this land. If I had a bell, I'd ring it in the morning, I'd ring it in the evening, All over this land. I'd ring out danger, I'd ring out a warning I'd ring out love between my brothers and my sisters, All over this land. If I had a song, I'd sing it in the morning, I'd sing it in the evening, All over this land. I'd sing out danger, I'd sing out a warning I'd sing out love between my brothers and my sisters, All over this land. Well I got a hammer, And I got a bell, And I got a song to sing, all over this land. It's the hammer of Justice, It's the bell of Freedom, It's the song about Love between my brothers and my sisters, All over this land. It's the hammer of Justice, It's the bell of Freedom, It's the song about Love between my brothers and my sisters, All over this land. --======================================================================-- -- Bard Song : The Times They Are A Changing --======================================================================-- The performance of this song will inspire a radical paradigm shift in the mind of the listener, causing their alignment to reverse polarity. Neutrally aligned audiences will be inspired to discard apathy, one way or the other. Duration: 43 Type: You take a deep breath and beging to stretch your vocal chords. You do your best Bob Dylan imitation. Come gather round people Wherever you roam And admit that the waters Around you have grown And accept it that soon You'll be drenched to the bone If your time to you is worth savin' Then you better start swimming Or you'll sink like a stone For the times they are a changin You take a deep breath. Come writers and critics who prophesize with your pen Keep your eyes open The chance won't come again Watch what you say For the wheel's still in spin And there ain't tellin' who that it's naming For the loser now Will be later to win For the times they are a changin You take a deep breath. Come senators, congressmen Please heed the call Don't stand in the doorway Don't block up the hall For he who gets hurt Will be he who has stalled The battle outside raging It'll rattle your windows and shake down your walls For the times they are a changin You take a deep breath. Come mothers and fathers Throughout the land And don't criticise What you can't understand Your sons and your daughters Are beyond your command Your old road is rapidly aging Get out of the new one If you can't lend your hand For the times they are a changin --======================================================================-- -- Bard Song : Turn Turn Turn --======================================================================-- You take a deep breath and stretch your banjo strings. You do your best Pete Seeger imitation. To Everything Turn, Turn, Turn There is a season Turn, Turn, Turn And a time for every purpose, under Heaven A time to be born, a time to die A time to plant, a time to reap A time to kill, a time to heal A time to laugh, a time to weep To Everything Turn, Turn, Turn There is a season Turn, Turn, Turn And a time for every purpose, under Heaven A time to build up, a time to break down A time to dance, a time to mourn A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together To Everything Turn, Turn, Turn There is a season Turn, Turn, Turn And a time for every purpose, under Heaven A time of love, a time of hate A time of war, a time of peace A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing To Everything Turn, Turn, Turn There is a season Turn, Turn, Turn And a time for every purpose, under Heaven A time to gain, a time to lose A time to rend, a time to sew A time to love, a time to hate A time for peace, I swear it's not too late --======================================================================-- -- Bard Song : Wild Horses --======================================================================-- During the performance of this song both target and performer are prevented from leaving the room. This condition persists for some time after the song is completed, lasting until one or the other ceases to exist. Duration: 30 Type: You take a deep breath and begin to stretch your vocal cords. You do your best Mick Jagger imitation. Childhood living is easy to do The things you wanted I bought them for you Graceless lady, you know who I am You know I can't let you slide through my hands Wild horses Couldn't drag me away Wild, wild horses Couldn't drag me away I watched you suffer A dull aching pain Now you're decided To show me the same No sweeping exits Or offstage lines Could make me feel bitter Or treat you unkind Wild horses Couldn't drag me away Wild, wild horses Couldn't drag me away I know I've dreamed you A sin n' a lie I have my freedom But I dont have much time Faith has been broken Tears must be cried Let's do some living After we die